I would imagine said zombie would shove the fleshling aside and sink his teeth into the tree behind him/her. Oh! It's the end of the world for tree-huggers!
Having said that, I have successfully gone meat-less in my diet for 1 and a half weeks thus far. Only side effect is that I get hungry easier and faster after every meal, usually within 3 hours. I can deal. It only means I need to eat more at each meal.
However, it's not until I initiated this conversion to vegetarian-ism, that I realize how difficult it is to hunt down a single meal without meat in it. Everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by flesh (excluding females in low-cut tops). Part of my practise in Buddhism is to end suffering and to cherish life, so killing of anything is verboten. It's very 'Vash the Stampede' like which I dig!
Now my goal is to go veggie for 30 days, so this change of lifestyle can be successfully locked-in. Man! I am hungry again...
I am still not entirely sure what that means, but I did it in front of the whole class. It felt effortless. Although I didn’t have the whole monologue memorized, but for the half of it I did, it felt very natural. Didn’t seem like I did any “acting” at all.
Monday night. Upon setting foot in class, I had but one objective in mind – to maintain a high level of nervousness! So when the time came for me to show my instructor my “homework”, I would have already embodied the very emotion and energy required in the text and my performance would come across as genuine or convincing.
I stood in front of the whole class and went “method” on my monologue. Right off the bat, I noticed my body, more specifically, my hands were doing things that wasn't included in my visualization of the character. Still, I continued to stumble my words. "Acting" nervous and uncomfortable. The more I talked the more excited my hands got! It was this moment the left side of my brain tried to make the rest of my body match the preconceived image of my character. So I tried to suppress my movements. The experience is comparable to taking a bra off with your teeth but you wind up hurting the girl! Awkward!
Having sat through my embarrassing "act", Tom the instructor roasted me in front of everybody. He did warn us that if he caught anybody "acting" he would slap them! Tom pressed me for specific answers that would give me a clear character objective in the scene. I gotta tell ya. His method of coaching is part interrogation and part humiliation. I felt so uncomfortable. Then again, if I can’t even stomach this kinda criticism, how could I ever stand to face any auditions and shit?
I understand this is all part of my learning process, and unfortunately, I learn best from my failures…This no pain no gain thing is very taxing sometimes.
After Tom had accomplished his objective on beating my character’s objective into my fragile mind, he told me to do my monologue again. With that, I entered the class room once more and started moving my lips. The text naturally poured out like they were mine. It was me up there saying those words. No character. No method acting. Just me talking as myself. I had no conscious control over my body and limbs. I didn’t plan how I should enter the room or move my body. I simply let go and watched the whole thing unfold before my eyes. The whole process felt organic. I didn’t even have time to ‘think’ about my lines. The words just came out. It was quite magical!
In the end, Tom was thrilled with my performance and gave his seal of approval. I candidly responded with, “But I didn’t DO anything up there! I was just talking!!”
Even now I am still puzzled by what I did with my non-acting on Monday night.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I have finally watched this movie and it did a pretty good job keeping me awake til 2 a.m. Thankfully, when I finally did sleep! I didn't have any nightmares. After this movie ended, Megster, Mandy and I ducked into the adjacent theatre and watched "This is it", so that might have softened the blow for me or else i would be up all night....
I do have more to say about the movie but I am too tired to write out a lengthy commentary. Maybe I'll add to this post tomorrow.
Tuesday night marked the end of the Level 100 Improv class with Bad Dog Theatre. It was a very emotional evening for us all. Really! We went over the subject of emotion in class and played a variety of games that required us to take on various emotions within a short scene. It was a challenge for me. I got nervous.
It was that same nervousness that creeps into my head whenever I am put on the spot on a foreign subject. I simply didn’t know how to act out certain emotions to their fullest. I was quite stiff. Perhaps my ego was more concerned with how funny my classmates were and trapped myself in a perpetual loop of critical thinking:
“When the time came, will I be as funny as these people?”
Always the same question but never an answer. Having said that, I did notice I got positive reactions from the rest of the class, whenever I focused my attention on the scene and actually listened to my fellow improvisers on stage. Granted, 'positive' doesn’t always mean funny but it’s a favourable beginning. The positive energy projected from the audience is enough to get me to my next confidence boost on stage.
At the end of the night, Shannon jokingly asked me, “Why can’t you show more feelings?” or something to that effect. What a great question?! It really got me thinking. I had been holding back a bit(Bullshit! A lot!). When we were playing the “Emotional scale” game where 1 being neutral and 10 being the peak of a particular emotion. My 10 always seemed to fall flat. It felt more like a 5 or 6 at best. Am I emotionally devoid like some sort of war-hardened veteran? Or was I simply holding back out of self-consciousness?
I really don’t have a good excuse for my emotionally-challenged portrayal. I'm sure my Ego got in the way, so desperately holding on to my idea of 'self' and refused to let go and give rise to my emotions. Well, it's either that or I don't get the label that attaches to each emotion. For instance, how do you act out 'Paranoia' to the max? Well, maybe you can and don't fucking tell me! Neutral scenes I can do with ease because I am simply being the fun me. Cracking wise and all. But the moment an emotion was introduced in a game, I felt uncomfortable (maybe it's a macho thing?).
I know I can emote better than that famous robot actor - “Caculon”! I have caught myself experiencing different stages of anger, depression, fear, joy and LUST in real life before! The biggest challenge for me in that class was having the moxy to put these emotions under a microscope and blow them up in front of an audience. And my emotional response for that was – fearful! Oh! So I did emote in class after all. haha
Check out these on-set photos from the new Dr. Who A.D. (After David) series and her new leggy companion, Reddy McLeggy! Well, no! her real name is Karen Gillan. obviously, this is the post-regeneration Doctor being chased by an unusually appealing authoritative figure! You have about a one in a million chance to come across one in real life. Good Luck, Boys!
Supposedly, this Scottish lass had been in the "Fire of Pompeii" episode as one of those soothsayer chicks with eyes tatooed on the back of their hands.
Though, on the surface, I have no reason to be. I have no idea what's going on with my mind (or my life) lately. I always feel like there's something else I should be doing! Something bigger and whatever I'm doing right now in my life just doesn't jive with my purpose in life.
My heart feels empty.
Sometimes I wonder if it's even there at all? I am terrified! A heart without passion is akin to a broken compass that won't guide you to your destination. I feel as though I am not living my full potential because of it. With each mundane day, I throw on this hollow shell to greet the world. And I have been for the past 5 years. Only now I have become more and more aware of this state of lethargy in my life and it is insufferable.
There isn't enough conventions, video games or any kind of self-medicating could assuage my pain. I don't want to render it numb anymore! I have to face this! I need this pain to push me to the next chapter in life. Something that involves a purpose or direction would be nice. Thank you very much.
Upon returning home today from the FanExpo weekend (I will share my thought on that in another post), my pinky toe had a untimely collision with the door frame of my bedroom. It stung like a motherfucker but it's not the first time I've kicked a door frame, so I paid it no mind. With a mild stinging sensation on my left pinky toe, I continued to my washroom to pee. With bladder emptied, I decided it'd be a good time to take off my socks. I was poised to pull the left sock off, but then i felt something wet.
Weird! I don't think I peed on myself. My aim is worthy of a dead-eye shooter of the Western era. If there were a pissing-duel, I'm certain I would hit my challenger in the eye before he could unzip.
So I brought my fingers into focus and found 'red stuff' on them. That's when the profound moment hit me; my pinky toe is either dead or mortally wounded. Let's end the suspense right here and pull off the damn sock, shall we? It's indeed covering in the 'red stuff' and my toe nail had split in half. once I stopped the bleeding I realized half of it was flapping at the breeze, only joined at the cuticle, so I took it off. The best way I could describe my pinky toe's current condition is as follow-- Do you know how Harvey Dent looked when we found him in the hospital in 'Dark knight'? kinda like that!
so there's probably a good chance my pinky-toe will harbour this grudge over what I did to it until it goes mad and exact its revenge on me in the near future.
When you look at the inside of the PS3 SLIM it is very anti-climatic. The magic that once promises superb HD graphics and enriched gaming experience is ALL GONE!! Wait-Wh-WHAT? Price dropped to $299? Time to rekindle my passion with the PS3 ALL NIGHT LONG!
When you really want something the Universe will move out of your way and help you achieve it! I have recently finished reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It’s an epic tale of love, courage and spiritual enlightenment that fucking blew my mind!
The story is about a dude named Santiago who loved to go about his mundane life as a Shepard, who had grown quite fond of his sheeps (Not like that you sick fuck!). Never questioning whether he made the right career choice. He’s just a dude who loved to travel and this career path happens to tailor to people like him. It’s not that he didn’t want to aim high! It’s just that the story took place before the advent of aerial transportation, or else he would take up a job as a pilot and all his trials and tribulations would be much much shorter and trivial.
It just wouldn’t be an international bestselling phenomenon.
I don’t want to give too much away, but ultimately this boy had a dream. Literally, a recurring dream that had shown him images of buried treasure at the foot of the pyramids. This dream was his ultimate call-to-action, akin to Luke Skywalker and how he blew up the Death Star. But I digress.
The point of the story is dreams do come true, however it comes with a caveat, that in order to fulfil this dream. One must take that very scary first step of deciding to give up his or her personal illusion of safety, like a crappy job, and willing to face a barrage of obstacles and set-backs before earning one’s dream in life.
One thing I took away from the story is that as long as you are willing to put yourself out there, risking that mundane repetitive life to really LIVE your dream, you will definitely meet defeat, you will learn, you will grow and you will be abundantly rewarded.
It’s fucked up how this shit works but this book made a believer out of me. It makes it ok for me to fail sometimes and to expect certain setbacks in life or in any endeavours. This is very endearing to me.
I am so fucking inspired by Santiago that I want to model my life on his epic journey and live out my dream and find my treasure!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
If you get the reference, and you know me, then you know it’s far from the truth. However, I did see Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along-blog over the weekend. This shit is brilliant!!I'm surprised I didn't watch this sooner!! Joss Whedon continues to dazzle the audience with his wit in this web-based musical.*
Upon finishing the dvd, I felt the urge to sing. Somehow these catchy show tunes have restored the music in my heart and drawn out that innate musical-gayness (not that there’s anything wrong with that); Musical loves everybody whether they are gay or straight! Horrible makes me want to revisit Whedon’s body of work, including Toy Story! That’s right! He contributed to the screenplay but not too many people know about that.
With his writing chops, BBC should totally hire this scribe for an episode of Dr. Who—with or without the musical! When you look at it from a business perspective, it makes absolute sense since this show has a massive following from the gay community in the UK.
*Classic tale of Good vs Evil; nerdy protagonist vs jocky superhero! The story is told from the perspective of the lovable semi-villain and his struggle to rise up and become a real villain -- Whedon style!
“Shit! I swear I’ll come back for you someday! I SWEAR IT!!”
With my gaze still affixed on the prize; a silent promise was made. I had decided to return to this very same game shop when I have the means to purchase Fatal Frame III.
A week later, I had honoured my commitment to that decision but it wasn’t as easy as I’d thought. Then again, nothing worthwhile ever did come easy. The hobbits had a helluva time carrying that ring to Mount Doom Their epic journey was filled with obstacles. Had they passed by a pawn shop en route to destroying the cursed item, the movie would be a lot shorter. The temptation to sell that fucking ring and to take a fantastic voyage into the lucrative business of selling sneakers to their people would be too great! But that's a story for another time.
The point is having a clear goal and commit to it with moxie in the face of adversity.
Saturday 5:08 p.m.
Megan accompanied me on my foolish quest to securing a copy of one of the most elusive games in the market. I’d tried many EB in the city but none had one. Alright! Good thing I found one in a non-EB! A copy that beckoned me with the sheen on its cheap shrink-wrap, mounted high on the wall behind the counter; kinda like that freaky looking Fertility Idol in the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark!
We arrived at the corner of Yonge and Bloor by about ten to six. Not the best timing ever but I’m determined that we’d make it before 6pm. That's when the store closes. We hauled ass down Yonge and made a hard right toward the shopping centre where the gaming emporium is nestled, but someone had already beaten us to it.
The super of the building was just locking up and refused to let anyone in. I couldn't believe this shit! Although, I was cock-blocked but I wasn’t beaten.
If I know my Metal Gear Solid as well as I should, then I know there’s always a 2nd entry point. I raced to the other entrance with Megan in tow and smashed into another brick wall. The doors had already been locked! Cock-blocked by the gatekeeper again! Is this it? I’ve tried so hard and get so far in the end it doesn’t even matter?
I was crestfallen and felt responsible for dragging the Megster down here for a fucking PS2 game! Why couldn’t I have just settled for a used-game of the same genre somewhere else? Something to tie me over until I have forgotten all about this little obsession. That’s how it’s always been anyway! It’s nothing more than just a passing fancy! Can you believe all that swam through my head within two seconds?
I was seriously considering to buy Condemned 2: BloodShot instead, but I couldn't, even when it had a very attactive price tag. Time and time again, I would settle for much less because it is the path of less resistance, as such I had learned to cower away from the first sight of challenge instead of mastering it.
Well, I refuse to live this way anymore. I could not abandon my commitment and effectively rendered a real promise to myself worthless. It would defeat the purpose of this exercise. So I made another decision right there and then. I am entering this building especially since I know the shop is still open! In that very same moment, I remembered zipping by a photo-lab that’s connected to the complex on the adjacent street. Hope had once again been restored to my body, like when Superman recharged himself with our Sun after being shanked by Lex Luthor with a piece of Krpytonite. I picked myself up and resumed my quest for PS2 GOLD!!
The sheer elation I felt dashing toward the photo lab is comparable to attending the San Diego Comic Con and running into Mark Hamill. Megan and I joined hands and artfully ducked into the photo-lab and successfully infiltrated the building without being noticed. I’m happy to report that I managed to keep my word buuuut lack the courage to play this fucking game in the dark....
As the title would suggest, a glass was indeed split down the middle at a family restaurant. Is it the works of mischievous ectoplasmic entities? telekinesis or just a cheap dollar-store drinking glass?
On Friday night, I decided to treat Megan to a lavish meal at a Swiss Chalet. At the locale, Meganetta and I enraptured ourselves in our own little world reminiscing about a few things and sharing a few laughs. Our waiter arrived with our drinks. I held my bottle of lemonade horizontally above eye level and began filling my glass from a high attitude. Don't ask why? It seemed like a good idea at the time!
The glass was about half full at this point (See! I can be an optimist!) so I put the bottle down. At this point, I was spacing out for a second, probably lack of sleep or something, then I felt something cold dripping into my lap. That's odd I thought. I looked up and what came into focus before me was a very bizarre image. My drinking glass had split up and moved away from each other.
In lieu of the wet lap, I did not face this phenomenon with frustration or embarrassment, but embraced it with bright-eyed curiosity! How could this division take place? Mitosis? I turned to Megan immediately, "How did it happen? did you see it??" She didn't but it certainly made her night though.
Later, our wise waiter offered his theory on the cause, but I ain't gonna bore you with the details. It's more fun not knowing sometimes. If only my splitting powers would work on dinner checks too... ;)
Got a job interview on Monday for a sales/ marketing position. What's great about this is, the interview is only 5 minutes from my house. So I decided to do some homework and study as much as I could about the company. Know your enemey, right? I figured this would gain me that competitive edge especially when I do not own anything low-cut! But the more time I spent on their site the more I'm like,"This place is awesome! Just the kinda challenge I'm looking for to expand my horizon, but I don't think this sales department is down the street from me anymore!"
Lately, I've discovered that "Inspiration" is a source of renewable energy that fuels my creative passion, but it has to be constant or else that passion could burn out.
Earlier I was on Deviant Art looking for my next 'hit' before engaging in a bout of figure drawing. I stumbled upon this cute tutorial that had made my life a helluva lot simpler. Hitherto, I've been guilty of drawing the contour of the body first in any given study, i mean, C'mon! Who could resist those dangerous curves? (Hi Megra!!). However, there is another method to capture a gesture of the body via reducing it to its raw geometric shapes.
Basically, I have to adopt a new way of thinking, like when Neo first learned about the Matrix!! I need to look past the flesh and see the source code....and here's the fruit of my labour:
Knowing the very object of affection is about to slip through your fingers is a sickening feeling beyond any maximum crotch-beating one can endure.
A recent visit to a local hobby store has rekindled one of my life long passions for toys and figures, especially the REVOLTECH ones! These guys know how to please the masses with something so fundamental- poseability!They give you enough articulation to recreate some of your favourite video game/ anime moments (suck it, McFarlane toys!). Futhermore, Revoltech's products are well-crafted, waterproof and NEVER EVER tested on any animal. With that in mind, I've been crazy about this Gurren figure ever since I saw its prototype pictures last year.
CUT TO: Today, with toy in tow, I whipped out my ATM card for the clerk and I realised...I DIDN'T HAVE ANY GODDAMN MONEY! I was crestfallen...but fuck it! I'm gonna use this to fuel my creativity and figure drawing trainingso I could make a killing at the next Anime North!!
Tony Robbins once said mastering of any skill is about repetition! (Of course! I'm paraphrasing) Well, here's day 3 of my 30 day long journey to mastering the female form. My goal of rendering sexy girls in CG is THAT much closer!
P.S. See, Megra? I did my homework! What did YOU do today?? heh jokes!
Earlier today, I wanted to put on a movie for ambience while I surfed the web for reference pictures. As I was going through my DVDs and handful of Blu-rays collection, it dawned on me that I'm missing two of the most venerated trilogies of our time.
Rest easy, friends! Before your fingers are poised to stab at the W,T and F keys, it ain't the original Star Wars or LoTR.
What I am about to disclose here with all of you is probably the most shameful and repugnant tidbit since the Avatar Live-action flick was announced. Thankfully, no Hate-Benders are protesting at my door step for this shit.
To this date, Indiana Jones and Back to The Future still haven't found their way to my shelf (Great SCOTT!). Two of the colossal pop-culture icons missing from my dust-free alphabetized collection, I must be slipping in my old age! I deserve to be fried...with 1.21 GIGAWATTS of electricity! ( see what I did here?)
This atrocity will be remedied soon enough to appease to your silent but deadly outrage. Meanwhile, a second piece of news, I will be doing figure sketches once a day for the next 30 days. Trying to implement a healthy habit of drawing naked ladies
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MY DAD AND HOW HE MADE ME LIE TO THE CLERGY If he was still with us here in
the land of the living, today would’ve been my Dad’s 78th Birthday. This
photo,...
No one ever reads these, but I'll try
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Does anyone know of any sort of cosplay photoshoot things going on sometime
in the fall, before it's really freaking cold? I still really really want
pictu...
